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TEN WAYS TO PARENT FOR THE TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY
By Rabbi Shaya Cohen

1. Constantly show your children that they are your number one priority!
   
   
2. Develop a close and open relationship so that they can talk to you about anything without fear of losing your respect or love.
   
   
3. Convey the distinction between happiness and pleasure. Happiness is constantly feeling good about oneself – feeling validated. Pleasure is a temporary feeling that comes from outside stimuli which eventually makes one feel inadequate.
   
   
4. Validate your children with more than just encouragement and compliments. Allow them to make decisions between appropriate choices, encourage their individuality within appropriate parameters and limit pressure whenever possible.
   
   
5. Maintain a wholesome secure environment for your children that models love, respect, happiness and tranquility.
   
   
6. Do not be naïve about the dangers that face our children today more than ever before. Be aware that a child who feels good about himself and his way of life will not feel the void which makes children so vulnerable to the dangers around them.
   
   
7. Model a personal example of a Torah life that our children will want to emulate. Exude happiness, meaning and purpose, personal growth and a realization of the benefits of this lifestyle.
   
   
8. Help your children develop a positive relationship with Hashem through understanding the benefits of Tefillah and recognizing that Hashem answers our Tefillos through his Hashgacha Pratis (intimate and individual involvement in every aspect of our existence). They must also have a clear understanding of the purpose of creation which is to benefit us according to how much we earn.
   
   
9. Inspire your children with Bitachon – trust in Hashem, as the loving and caring G-d who is always involved in every aspect of our lives. At the same time, explain the benefits of suffering to help them cope with the difficulties that they see or may experience.
   
   
10. Work in tandem with your children’s schools and teachers to ensure that they are getting what they need. Different children have different learning styles and cannot all succeed within a single approach. Recognize that sometimes an qualified mentor can often accomplish what a parent or teacher cannot, and that it is very important that they have appropriate recreational outlets.